"Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light." - A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L'engle

Summer is ending and school's about to start.

I think it is true, you know. We adolescents have very unstable moods. It's so fickle. It IS like a cycle, like what Valeriano Hernandez-Pena said about happiness. You're so unbelievably happy one moment and the next, it's gone as fast as the wind and replaced with infinite sadness and hopelessness that you're left to wonder if you've ever even felt an iota of that happiness in the first place. Or vice versa.

I encounter this ALWAYS.

God, it hurts. My dad, just slightly raising his voice at me. I guess the effect of his anger is multiplied because he so rarely lets go of it that when he does, you know that he's finally lost all his patience. AND he's a very patient person.

Just shows how infuriating I am and how bad and noisy and big-mouthed I am. I do hate myself.

He just slightly raised his voice at me when he told me to leave and go because we had choir and I was shouting at him about my iPod. And THAT made me cry and lose my composure, so I missed choir. I don't want ANYBODY seeing me lose my composure and bawling my eyes out. (And my mom has to shout to me a lot of harsh and very painful words and give a sermon to me before I cry.)

And yesterday, I was feeling so happy and content.

Wow.

I do feel regret you know. For missing choir. But I guess I can't undo it and if I still go I would be late and that would be bad. After all, for sir, being late is just as bad as being absent. Or maybe even worse, I dunno.

So I haven't been updating for a long time. Well, obviously since I missed choir, now I have time, but I'm about to fix my room soon. And I haven't had time for the past few weeks. It has been hectic. Competition in swimming, competition AND concert in choir.

Ok, this was good therapy.

:) Catch you later. :))