Eh.
Why do girls remain in packs? Why can't they ever be an individual, standing for themselves and independent of their cliques? At least, why are most girls that way? I mean, I'm a girl, but I ain't like that. Ridiculous.
I'd rather have a single best bud than a pack full of backstabbing lying beaches. I'd rather have one person who I can trust implicitly and not have to worry because that one person might spill my secrets. I'd rather have one person I can rely on no matter what happens, i.e. someone who'll always be there for me. Someone who I am sure isn't just faking it. Just one best bud, and I'm ecstatic.
But girls, why do they always have to have cliques to feel like they belong? To feel good and to feel "in". Very superficial and hardly worth anything. Most of my same gender care so much about clothes, style, their weight(!!!got a lot to say about this), aesthetic appeal, make-up, etcetera, etcetera. All those superficial. Very much so.
I mean I won't deny I am self-conscious too, I do care much about clothes and how I look too. But not like OTHER girls. Some of them just have too much vanity and care too much about freshness outside they forget that inside, they're already rotting. Rotting so strong it reeks. Eh. I hate those kind of girls. One particular girl I know says--well, there are two of them, rather--she doesn't like wearing clothes again. She doesn't like wearing the same outfit again. And not again as in again everyday, but again as in again. As in she abhors wearing the same outfit again even though it's already clean and nicely ironed and all that beejeezus. Such a model ain't she. Yup, she's a model too and VERY much proud about it. She'll rub it in your face 'till she erases your face off your head. Hahahaha...what a superficial person. I do pity her, I must say.
Then there's this other person, one whom I love very much. She's disappearing, literally. She's like, I dunno, 5'2'' and she weighs approximately 93-105 pounds. But she's big-boned. She's already smaller than extra small. She hardly eats, only when she really, really has to. She's already acidic. She's VERY weight conscious it's ridiculous because she's already way below underweight. AND she's beautiful. I mean, she is, I don't get how she can miss that when she looks in the mirror and not be satisfied by what she sees. She was already beautiful back when she still had a little fat on her when she reduced her weight, but now she's just a wispy thing. So fragile-looking, you think one swat, one punch, one hit would obliterate her.
I really am in a very huge dilemma because I don't know what to do. I don't even know the cause of her apparent anorexia. I have guesses, yes, but they're just that, guesses. Yes, I admit, I haven't even faced her about it. Such a coward, aren't I? But it's hard. So many people have already faced her and talked to her about it. I'm afraid if I talk to her, I would even worsen the problem and not do anything to solve it at all. It's such a very sensitive topic. At least around her... She gets touchy about it.
I suppose she gets touchy about it because of the reason which I guess is what's behind her apparent anorexia. She was formerly a big girl. She was overweight and plainly fat. I guess she still sees the same old pudgy, overweight girl in the mirror and never sees the truth that she is already disappearing, and fast at that.
ARGH. I am frustrated! Why do girls have to be superficial so much they'd hurt themselves just to be as "perfect" as how they perceive perfection to be. It's stupid and pointless and just plainly S-T-U-P-I-D!! ARGHARGHARGH!! I guess, the question is, why do most people have to be so superficial? So concerned about what's visible? I mean, I admit I am a very self-conscious girl too, I'm overweight, but never to the point of actually getting myself sick in the head with psychological disorders and barfing my dinner. I have enough common sense and control and rationality not to do that.
And that's just two thing I hate about my gender.
Another is why can't they not stand on their own? Why do they have to stand behind the shadow of their cliques/"barkadas"(as we call them in the Philippines)? WHY? It's so pathetic. Can't they be a separate entity, being that they do have the capacity to be independent from the group because they were born as individuals? Why are most girls so reliant, so dependent on their cliques? To the point that it's ridiculous. They can't go to the comfort room on their own. Pathetic. Can't go anywhere without at least one clique member with them. Can't do laps by themselves. It's like they're all getting retarded that the clique leader has to think of everything for them. "Can I go with her, Ashley?" "No, you stay right here. Let her go with Bree." PATHETIC PATHETIC PATHETIC. Can they not think on their own? After all, they were given brains with the capacity to think, weren't they? Weren't we all?
They think that being in is being seen with others physically constantly, anywhere, anytime. And that just shows how weak their bond is. How superficial their "in-ness" or belongingness is because it has to be manifested by visible physical aspects. It has to be PROVED. And I say WTH? Who needs to prove feelings, if they're true? If you love someone unconditionally, you have to prove it by taking the bullet?
GAHHH. So stupid and ridiculous and JUST PLAIN PATHETIC.
"What is essential is invisible to the eye." --The Little Prince
He's so young but he's already outsmarted those ditzy, superficial, dependent girls, eh?
Yes, I know, you might say, I'm so jealous of the bond these other girls have that I'm so spiteful of their "relationship". And I'll say, "What bond? Relationship? My arse." and laugh out loud right in front of your face. Why would I ever want to be "included" in a superficial bond? Why would I ever want to be in a clique full of people who pretend to be friends but are destroying each other's image and reputation behind each other's backs? Why would I want to be part of a group where everyone is trying so hard to fit in, they forget their identity? They forget that while humans were made to be social creatures, we are still capable of individual thoughts and actions. We still have an identity we keep to distinguish ourselves from others. We don't have to lose ourself just to fit in.
"The man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away." --Charles Schwab
P.S. Just so you know, these thoughts entered my brain again because earlier, during the training ceratin people were having the "dependent-clique-lackey" symptoms too much, it almost made me puke my guts out.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment