Shy's B-day and Religious Queries

We had choir practice this morning. 10am-12pm. It was also Shy's B-day last April 16, I think. So we had food! Yey! We had Yellow Cab, Hawaiian pizza and spaghetti. Last April 14 was Gabe's B-day too. He cooked us DELICIOUS spaghetti. Hahahaha. Many people attended today. We were 22, I think. Ate Crisan also attended, she's the Alto 2 "supporter" or whatever you call it. Sir Raul brought 2 of his students, I think, to help the choir out. Ate Crisan for alto 2 and ate Marion(? Not sure about her name) for soprano 2. BTW, I was transferred to alto 2 because previously, there were only 2 alto 2's(Ynna and Shen). I think today wasn't a very good day for me in choir. Hehehehe... Oh well. You can't have everything, can you?

Back Here at home, I am supposed to fulfill my promise now, aren't I? I guess I should start now. Ehhh. Hahahaha... Procrastinating...

Hmmm...After choir practice, Ileana and I also went to the prayer room. The one beside our practice room. It's air-conditioned inside too. We prayed.

You know, recently, I've been having uncertainties about religion and all that jazz. It's just well not at all reasonable. It's not that I'm an atheist or anything serious like that but I am beginning to have doubts. And, I don't like it. :( I do hope I regain my constant, unflagging faith I had in God since I was little. I mean, there's just too many loopholes in our religion.

First, the greatest question put against our religion, probably(or probably not, whatever): "Why did God make us?". I mean, why are we here now, what's our purpose? Or is there none at all? Why do we exist? Is there a reason to all this? Well, the Bible and school says that it's because God wanted to share His love. He wanted to manifest it, so he made the world and as a "consequence"(?) of that he made us to be stewards of nature. To have dominion over all creatures.

For me, that explanation is already pretty vague. I mean, if he does love us and the world we are living in now, then why are so many suffering? Dying, cheated, in despair, sick, miserable? Why is there no justice in the world today? WHY? Oh, they say it's so we can learn, ok, that's plausible, but what about other cases like injustice? Are the injustices falling upon us our fault? For some, probably. BUT, for most? I think not.

Another answer they have for my question? Well, they also say that it's because of the consequences of our inherent original sin. Well, that's just blah. Because we weren't even the one who sinned then. AND, if Adam and Eve were really pure and holy as God created them, being the first humans and all that, then they weren't really supposed to have human weaknesses yet, right? Because human weaknesses existed because of that first sin. And so, Eve wasn't ALLOWED(hahahah) to fall into temptation. They also say that she was tempted and sinned because she abused her human freedom. Or something like that. EGHA...whatever.

Also, if he loves our world, then why are so many animals slowly becoming extinct? Why are mountains deforested? Why are THEY the ones suffering because of us? Why doesn't HE protect THEM? HE's omnipotent, right?

I know, nature suffering will equal to us suffering too, in the long run. But still, why do they have to die? I know, so we learn. But others don't even care about it. And everyone is suffering when not even everyone is at fault, or at least, not everyone is at the same degree most are at fault. Many try to change what's slowly happening to our Earth. But they're few compared to those who doesn't even try to do something about it. Or maybe they do try sometimes, but less.

Also, the people who will mostly suffer from the things that are happening to our environment are the people in the future. See, the people who contributes to pollution now, will not end up being the ones who suffer the most because of their polluting because pollution takes a long time to destroy things. It's like this. The people from the past also contributed to the pollution we have today, and I know we also contribute even more, but you see, we also suffer because of their pollution/gas/CO2 emissions. It adds up.

Yes, I know, I might just be feeling sombre today or something, but that is not the case because I do think these thoughts occasionally. My arguments just built up eventually. Hahahaha... I'm becoming hopeless and maybe disillusioned, I think. So sad...