Thank God It's Friday. :)

YEY! Another update. It's been quite long. A lot has happened to me this summer. :) Though, I believe my favorite change is my change of attitude towards life in general. I've just become more cheerful, easygoing, and more down to earth. I'm not taking things so seriously anymore, which is a good thing for me. I am hoping, though, that this change isn't just a temporary one. I hope it isn't just the result of not being very stressed yet. But, I'm living and I'm loving it. :)

"The Secret" is this video/book or idea says you can control your life if you can control the way you think. The secret is just that. Think positive so you attract positive. It's generally what they call the law of attraction. And you attract things, whatever they may be, whenever you think of them. This idea have really changed my mindset about things. I know it may be BS, but believing that you can do something before doing it really does help in finally achieving it in the end. I have read this quote and I've never really realized deeply what it means, until recently..."Whether you think you can or cannot, you're right." (Forgot who said it. :( I'm sorry.)

And this one quote have really influenced my perspective in life too. "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have." --Eckhart Tolle

There was also this e-mail which my aunt sent to our family Yahoo!Groups. It contains real good advice, in my opinion. It just generally boils down to this main idea: Follow your dreams; do what you want and love or what makes you happy; life is good. Love life. :)

Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on
by Regina Brett
Sunday May 28, 2006, 10:13 AM
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

So that's that. My viewpoint has changed and with that change my life has too. Never say never. :) (I used to hate that cliche but it's really true.) Stop think about hate, cannot, do not, or whatnot. Start living your life with the mindset "I can".

Love life. Embrace it. Laugh, Smile, just LIVE.
God Bless,
Kristina



Me and My Best Friend, Denise :)

Supposedly Continuation of Previous Post...(But, I guess not. :| )=> Gay Rights

The title's pretty self explanatory. But anyhow, the idea WAS to expound more on stuff that has been happening in my life, not just what's going on inside my head. Instead, my neurotic brain neurons have been incited by the topic on Tyra today. "Is GAY the new BLACK?"

Her show addressed the current issues about gay rights. She had some "debaters" come over and defend their own side. Pro or Anti gay.

INEVITABLY, the Bible came into the discussion. WAIT, I'm getting ahead of myself here. So I want to clear this out to everyone that I DO NOT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS with same sex marriages or the like. I am not ANTI gay, nor do I think I'm pro it either. Yea, confusing much?

I guess, I'm just kinda detached. I'm indifferent. If someone chooses to be gay, then I would respect that. But I admit that I WILL always have feelings of disgust and a sense of wrongness about same sex relationships. AND, I'm being honest here. I'm admitting that my thinking has been affected by my environment. And that is the Catholic setting of my life. I am a Roman Catholic. The normal, or I guess, conventional, thing with us here have always been "I now pronounce you husband and wife". Not wife and wife nor husband and husband. SO my views have been influenced by my religion.

BUT, see, my initial reaction towards gay rights/same sex relationships have been "Oh, no big deal. I'm fine with that.(Gay people/homosexuality)" But then, I realized--yea, for the people who've been reading this for a time now OR the people who does know me, I DO argue with myself a lot(WHAT? I believe it is a way of finding more about yourself. It's self rediscovery, or just you know, reflection? Just--it has always been a belief of mine that the only way to get at answers and to know more about yourself or whatnot is by ASKING QUESTIONS. You know, simplest example: How did Isaac Newton discover that the energy/force/whatever which caused the apple to fall from the tree is the phenomenon we now know and call as gravity? By ASKING QUESTIONS. Or simply, I guess, by wondering about it.)SERIOUS DIGRESSION THERE! Hahaha, sorry for that...--I REALIZED that if one of the people who are close to me, like my sister, mother, or my own FUTURE children would be homosexual, I would not really be fully comfortable with that. I would always prefer for them to remain heterosexual.

HOWEVER, I am not opposed to homosexuality. I am not homosexual, so I admit I do NOT know how it is to be gay. I would not be presumptuous enough to speak ob their behalf or to tell them that being gay is a choice or whatnot, THOUGH that has always been what's been taught to us, Catholics. That it is your CHOICE whether to be gay or straight. So back to my stance on this issue, me being NEITHER anti-gay nor pro-gay...BUt, I guess I'm leaning more onto the PRO-GAY side. It's just that I believe whether gay or straight, people are still people. Humans created by God. For lego's sake, even mass murderers, rapists, psychopaths, ETC. ARE STILL CHILDREN OF GOD. We are all God's masterpiece. ("The world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." Yes, from "The 5 People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom) ALL of us, trees, the water, the sounds of the river flowing by, the cool breeze of spring, the gentle pink of newly blossomed flowers, ALL OF THESE THINGS, ALL OF US IS God's masterpiece. All of us, together.

So what am I getting at? (I admit, I got a little carried away with that line of thought.) I'm saying that these homosexual people are still supposed to be treated like CHILDREN OF GOD. They are still supposed to be loved, therefore, EVEN if they are gay, they are not supposed to be discriminated and be BANNED from marrying. I mean, discrimination is an act of hate, especially when it leads to gruesome acts like murder, ridicule and hostility. Gay people are first and foremost STILL PEOPLE. Therefore, they ARE NOT mistakes or for heaven's sake, abominations of God. They still deserve respect.

So I guess or presume, that is, that the previous paragraph have most likely firmly established my stand on this issue. I am pro-gay, though I am straight.

But what's really incited a reaction out of me is the fact that (like what I had said earlier...) INEVITABLY, the Bible came into the discussion.

Traditionalists or just the public IN GENERAL have always argued and believed that the Bible IS AGAINST homosexuality. So during the "DEBATE" in the Tyra Banks Show, the subject of the Bible's teaching regarding relationships had come into the discussion (I forgot how exactly. I'm not exactly sure if the other side(antis) had mentioned it first or if it was because this one gay man who mentioned that he was beaten by his dad who used the Bible as an excuse to beat the "GAY" out of him.) so one woman, who is a lawyer, if I'm not mistaken, from the pro-homosexuals mentioned the Bible passage about plucking out the eye that causes you to sin, etc. etc., and argued that if the Bible was to be followed word per word then we all would be walking around with just one eye and an arm.

But, see, though she is one the pro side with me, I think that she had misunderstood the Bible, if she really does believe this. (But, I MAY be mistaken. I could have misunderstood her...But the way she said it, it came out like she was discrediting the Bible.) I've always believed that our God is a Loving God, therefore, he loves each and everyone of us because when it comes down to it, we all comprise his great masterpiece, we are all his children. Therefore, with Him being LOVING, then I don't believe that he would discriminate against homosexuality or would he be against it just because he created man and woman to be a couple.

People might say this is presumptuous, to just speak in behalf of God, or to presume to know what God thinks about this. But, these are my opinions, so please, read the whole entry first? I'm not YET done explaining myself.

You see, I've always believed that God knows our weaknesses, he knows our DARKEST secrets, he knows that we sin and think ill of others and I know that in spite of all our shortcomings and all the things that makes us horrible God still loves us. (THERE ARE SO MANY THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD RIGHT NOW, And once again, I am frustrated by the fact that I can't type in all of them at once. I can't even fully sort them out in my head yet...Just one huge tangled web) So I did a little research of my own. I picked up my Bible and just reread the part in the Genesis about Adam and Eve. About Man and Woman. And nothing in the Bible says that it is against the same sex relationships. It did say that woman and man become one flesh and that woman is man's companion. But it did NOT say that man AND man cannot be one flesh.

(Hahahaha...)

Yes, I did take into consideration the fact that maybe, the idea of homosexuality was not born yet at the time the Bible was written, BUT, the Bible is full of symbolism, is it not? So what if this is just another symbol or sign God is trying to tell us?

The Bible did say that man and woman are joined together, or become one flesh "to give back to the large human family the treasure of humanity which they received from it." In simpler terms, the purpose of marrying someone is to copulate with that someone and therefore produce an offspring. In one word, PROCREATION. So maybe people got the idea that the Bible is saying NO to same sex marriages because it does not allow the married couple to procreate in the traditional style. But I thought, maybe this could have been the rule before because there were still very few people then compared to how many we are now. So it was vital for humans to procreate if humanity as a species was to survive. Or for any species to survive, for that matter. (Procreation is the key.)

But, think about it. Today, how many people are there? Billions. There are massive population explosions which are especially prevalent in third world countries. Meaning, excluding the possibility of another ice age or an asteroid wiping out the human race, I think our current population level is pretty stable for the survival of the human species. So why not allow same sex marriages when thre are still so many people out there to ensure the survival of the human race? I don't know, I guess, this is a rather radical idea. But, it's just what I think.

Also, taking into consideration the fact that there are so many orphaned children who are in need of parents, why not allow these couples who technically can not "procreate" to adopt them. Therefore, both parties are happy. (I know, there are so many factors to take into consideration.)

And I just have to say this to all the people who are using the Bible against homosexuality and saying that gay people will go to hell, have you read the TEN COMMANDMENTS. OR did you even REALLY READ the Gospels in the BIBLE? What is the two main commandments? Jesus said, (Mt 12:30-31)"You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. And after this comes another one: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. THERE IS NO GREATER THAN THESE TWO." So discrimination against same sex marriages? Is that an act of love? You answer me.

P.S. I guess I am not so indifferent, after all. :)

Quote for today:


"The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm
terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient
reason for remaining ashore."

-- Vincent Van Gogh

An Entry of a Different Kind

So...I've been thinking. (What a surprise! 8D)

And I thought that it might be a good thing (for I dunno who/what... I guess, for me?) if I started writing inside my blog about things about myself. I mean, not just my thoughts/complaints and whateva... Just updating this blog about what's happening with my life and all that bejeezus. And I thought it would be more updated if I post entries about my life at least once a month. At the end or beginning or in the middle. I'm not really strict about these things. I guess, whenever the opportunity reveals itself.

Hahaha, not to intentionally bore you--whoever YOU are--with the constant cynical track my mind chooses to run on. But I just can't resist. I have to ask: "Who the heck would read this anyway, right?" Hahaha...Of course, I have some fantasies about that, but then again, that's why they're called FANTASIES. Fiction. Not real. Might as well be called lies...

Anyhow, cynicalness aside, what has been going on with my life right now?

Well, just 15 mins. from the current time, 2:45PM, I will be going to my Hip Hop classes with my brother because he will be first dropped off at his school for Frisbee practice, I think.

Then, I will come home, watch American Idol, eat, sleep... you fill out the rest.

Hahahaha...just kidding. But that IS what my schedule would be like today.

So, I had managed to secure myself some dance classes. I love it. I love the people there. They're absolutely welcoming, friendly and just NICE. (Sorry for using the word with NO meaning.) I've been active on youtube lately too. I've been watching some people dancing, doing covers, and of course, stumbled upon the YouTube phenomenon, FRED. Hahaha...LOL. You should definitely check out Robert Muraine, though. He's FANTASTIC. Check out his audition in So You Think You Can Dance. NOW that, THAT was phenomenal.

Hmmm...what else? Well, my family or Kuya Jacob (the leader in this endeavor of ours), have decided to create this family book for our grandparents. Narrations of the parts of their lives that have been influential to them. Their own love story, Lolo's (Grandpa) experiences during the second world war, or just our favorite memories spent with them. It's kinda interesting. And I guess, this way, we're able to bond more. And I've never mentioned it before, but my brother, Kuya Vincent, had made a Yahoo Group for our family. This way, we can communicate through the internet too, not just during the regular Saturday reunions. I'm also learning more about all of my relatives this way. Not just my cousins, even my aunts and uncles participate in our discussions. Hahaha...pretty neat, actually.

I love my family.

Oops, how coul I have forgotten such a big part of my life? CHOIR. Well, currently we're preparing for our big concert on the 27th of May. It's gonna be at Philam Life Theater. Pretty grand. But, we've performed there before. But with the MTQ choir. Not with Vox. If you don't know me, you probably won't understand what's MTQ and what's Vox. But that's another story for another time.

So...I guess, Ciao!

I have to go! My brother's already finished with whatever. And we gotta go...

IT's raining. So that might mean some traffic. So I better go, you know. BUHBYE!

Mother, Mom, Mama, Mami

About time I reflected upon my tumultuous relationship with my mother. (Heh, can't remember if I have already written this, but for a long time now, I've been really fascinated with the idea of writing my "Last Will and Testament". It just seems so interesting 'cause you'll have to think like you ARE already dying. I think many of us would be surprised--or not, by what really is the most important to us, once we realize that we have a very limited(more so than usual) time here on earth.In the end,you might actually discover more about yourself after doing this exercise.)

Anyhow, I was digressing. But I just wanted to get that out of my system. Another future plan up ahead. Hahaha...

So I will reflect upon my relationship with my mother. Hahaha....(Same first sentence...No need to understand.) The first thing that comes to mind(or maybe only at this moment...I don't really know.), if I am ever asked, or put into the situation that I will have no other choice but to write about my parents--or if I just want to, like right now, write about them, is that my parents were never supportive. Oh, they were supportive about the right things, like school and studies, choir, and when I was swimming. But when I wanted to take art classes? No. When I was dying to learn conversational Chinese? NO. When I wanted to take up dance classes? NO.

It's so similar to all the things I've read about parents and their children. Parents rarely let their children become the people the children themselves want to be. Rather, they make their own children become who they want their children to be. And I hate it. There are so many things now that I see people (not necessarily parents) treat children which I promise myself(and I guess, my future children), I will never do to my FUTURE children.

My mom said she had promised herself when she was younger similar things too, and she told me that things don't always go as planned. But that's BULLCARP.

My parents--MY mom (this is mostly about my WONDERFUL mother) was never supportive. She's a big hunk of lazy human. She thinks because she's already OLD, a parent and an adult, she doesn't need to do anything else. Her life is FINISHED. And she's what 46? See? What a truckload of BS. BS.BS.BS. My mother is full of that.

I know it seems appallingly ungrateful of me to call my mother that. But let HER become your mom. And thing I hate most(about her and PEOPLE in general) is that people often set up a facade in public. My mother's all smiling faces and charming around OTHER people. But with her family? Fill in the blanks yourself. It's not rocket science.

Yeah, I know that human beings act differently in another environment or with a set of people than they do with others. People may act differently if they're with the family, or with friends. But is it too hard to SMILE--FOR FEEK's SAKE--just SMILE, around your family. What makes her smile? My youngest sister's antics. Yea, makes me wish that eleven years ago I had made her smile too, right? I doubt it. I was a demon child, the black sheep, or the spawn of Satan, if you will.

HAHAHA...but that's a whole other story. I'll just stick with this discussion about my mother.

Whenever I want to do something, like go to dance classes, I have to fight for it. I have to constantly nag, whine, and be generally annoying and insufferable, to get enrolled. I guess they might be training me for the real world, where if you REALLY want something, you HAVE to fight tooth and nail for it. (YEA RIGHT.)

As I've said, my mother is just one big hunk of lazy human. She doesn't have goals, as far as I know. Probably why she's always cranky and generally unpleasant. Bossy, too prideful, think she's always right. I guess, I should be happy that she isn't abusive, an alcoholic, a cheater, or whatnot. But is that really all there is I can thank her for? For all the things she isn't? (and heck, I can NOT thank her for these too.) How about for all the things she is? Yea, she's the one I go shop my clothes with. She used to help me with homework, and now he does my younger sisters. (But it's school. DUH.)She cooks RARELY, she cleans the house even more RARELY, she fetches us from school RARELY. Yea, she works to feed us. But mostly, her business doesn't require her presence, so what does she do? Lounges around the house just like a big hunk of lazy human, and she watches TV, lying down, signing checks, sleeping. See? Lazy. She doesn't read, or garden, she doesn't even really take care of my youngest sister FULL TIME (only before going to sleep). Those are the HELPERS' job/tasks. She doesn't organize the house (only very rarely).

I know she does care about us. I never said she didn't.

It's just that she could be a better mother.

She thinks because she's old, she doesn't have to do anything else. Like her life is over, she's even said once that she could die peacefully any time now. AND I WAS SO DISGUSTED, for once, I didn't even say anything. I mean, I'd picture a wholehearted mother (and probably this because she got pregnant with my father's child out of wedlock) as someone who would want to make sure that all of her children are well off into the world before they could peacefully die. I would picture REAL mothers to out their children as their first priority. I dunno if it's just a fairytale idea, but it's just that it's how I would think I would treat my children too, you know. Like they are the ones who will give me a purpose in life. The reason I live. And for my OWN mother to just say that ANY FREAKIN TIME NOW SHE WOUDN'T MIND IF SHE DIED?? WTHECK KINDOF MOTHER SAYS THAT???? To her children, nonetheless. It's really one of the things I will never ever forget.

It disgusts me.

Crosses

"Other men's crosses are not mine."

Hmmmm... There's an argument going on inside my war zone of a mind for a while. (But now that I think about it, I'm thinking that it hasn't been going on in my head for just a "while"...it's been there for much longer than that. Since I was at my younger years probably. It's just now that I chose to really face the dragon head on. Yet, there are still so many dragons I must face--well, I guess everyone has his own deposit of dragons to be faced.) See, one side agrees with the quote up there. It's kind of like what my CLE teacher, Ms. Ng, said one time. That you do your part, and if the other party won't do theirs, then it isn't your problem anymore. It's theirs. The specific example at that time was the issue of what course of action to take when you meet a beggar. Will you give them money though it would probably go into the beggar's "master"'s pocket? Will you give the beggar money though this beggar can still choose to have a job? Will you give the beggar money though in the end, it might only be used for more harm than good? Will you give the beggar anything at all and risk the chance of the beggar's utter dependence on people who give them money?

My teacher admitted that it was a hard decision to make--especially if you don't know if the beggar is REALLY a beggar. The person may just be pulling your leg. But Ms. Ng said that the way she thinks about it is that she will give the beggar whatever, and that is her part--her good deed. And whatever the beggar decides to do with what she's given him/her, then that's his/her part--whether good of bad.

She brought this up again when we were discussing the movie(which I still haven't gotten the chance to watch YET), "Facing the Giants".

My parents tell this to me too. I guess any sane person who doesn't want to get involved in messy business would follow this motto, which in simpler words is just "Mind your own business."

Obviously, I'm the person on the other side of the fence. I REALLY want to disagree. But truth be told, I'm just really torn. I don't know what the right thing to do is. Yeah, I guess the simplest way to know what's right is by asking, "WWJD?(What Would Jesus Do?)". But sometimes, it's not that easy--or I may be just complicating things but WTHeck? I am digressing.

My side is that how can you just MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS? your own problems, etc.etc. See, Jesus WOULD NOT mind his own business. DUDE, he DIED for the whole human race. If he just minded his own business, then he wouldn't have cared--YEAH, I know, minding your own business is not the same as only caring about yourself, BUT damn, well, it's close as close can be--about any of us. Jesus carried ALL our crosses. So I guess the right thing to do is be just as selfless as Him, right? Because it is what Jesus would do. And just like this Buddhist teaching about all of us being connected. This idea's also repeated in Mitch Albom's books. So if all of us inevitably affects each other--

"..the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one."

--then that means that we should NOT mind our own business BECAUSE anybody's business is EVERYBODY's business. AGH. Get what I'm trying to say?

So what Jesus would do is not what my parents/teacher/sane people would do.

If everyone just minded his own business, then no one would help a person who tripped--because it's the fallen person's own business. Sure, I guess some people would rather not be helped and so keep up the facade that they don't need help from other people because 'nothing is wrong' rather than facing the humiliation, while others would be grateful for the help.

I just received a text message from our choir coordinator asking the choir members to pray for our conductor who's in the hospital right now. And I'm thinking about this issue again...and I'm thinking maybe the definition of business is what's wrong. I mean, see, it isn't OUR business what our conductor's choice of living is which could be what lead him to become hospitalized. But it is our business if he gets well enough to be our conductor again. AGH, I'm cunfused myself.

And I'm thinking maybe a simpler way to phrase this argument is: "Selfishness VS. Selflessness." I'm sure others would disagree that minding your own business is selfishness, but think about it. In the end, isn't it all just the same banana?

But the thing is that (thought occurred--SEE I hate writing things down. Writing is so slow compared to how thoughts go around inside my messy mind. I'm just beginning to write this thought, but already my brain has thought behind it....AGH. Hahahaha...)the reason that the motto "Mind your own business" was created in the first place is that we aren't all like Jesus. We are just humans (or not? are humans not limited to this?) so we can't carry EVERYONE's crosses. We aren't divine like HIM. We're just mere mortals. But the confusing part is that a lot agree that doing the right thing is equivalent to WJWD. But maybe it's not?

I DON'T KNOW.

This is my confusion since the beginning of time.

Hahaha... I need enlightenment. The thought that occurred==> the answer to everything is balance. So the answer is (Yes, I answer myself. Don't you?) you need to balance selfishness and selflessness. I mean that you have to know when to be selfish and when to be selfless?? HAHAHA...this is sounding ummm....

Yeah.

I need help, seriously. (Doesn't everyone?)

Love, KC

I know

It's breath-taking how wonderful knowing is.

There's just such beauty and a feeling of wholeness, of completion it brings. Knowing brings with it, sometimes, a part that should be in you that you never knew existed or something you never knew you needed. I just wanted to find this meaning. The reason for something horribly, horridly, hideously beautiful which would completely make it such a glorious, crystal-clear, piercing, pure ray of light.

You see, Jodi Picoult's books (well, mostly those that I've read, which is just around 3? And from the very first page, they've pulled me in. She writes with such elegance. It's just beautiful.) have such strength that it just hooks you and make you realize that there is something beautiful in the simplest things. She writes with such beauty--I'm sorry if I'm saying that word too much. But, truly, it's the only word fit to describe her writing. She took art to the next level.--and brings relevance to the simplest of things. She makes you feel. Her characters are so real. (That rhymed. LOL...This ain't no poem.) She writes about the daily things we do and makes them new. (I can her CLE classes now. Jesus makes all things new.)She pulls you out of being a jaded being.

But, I am digressing.

Back to her characters, they're just so real. So when something so atrocious happens to them, it's hard not to cringe. And well, most of her characters deal with sadness, pain, sorrow, loss, and disagreement. That's the great paradox I experience in her writing. I'm so hooked to it, literally pulled into each character's story, yet at the same time, I'm so affected with all the pain they undergo that it depresses me too. And sometimes, her stories don't end fairytalesque. People get hurt, suffer, and die in her stories. That's why I wanted to find the reason behind all the suffering.

I asked, "What is J.P. trying to convey through her stories?". Or maybe more appropriately, "What is her story trying to get across?"

And for once, my epiphany occurred just now, while I'm not held up by anything, without any other distraction, within reach of my PC.

And you know what my brain told me?

Well, see. I was caressing my new Jodi Picoult book--it's hardbound(Yes, I just have to brag about that. It's not often I get a hardbound copy of a book I've been looking for for some time for 200 bucks. AND, that's in peso. And supposedly, it's one of her greatest works. A reliable friend of mine told me so.)--when I realized it. I knew the reason.


The HARDBOUND book I was caressing.
Jodi Picoult--or her stories--is(are) conveying us the beauty of each story happening since time immemorial, happening as we speak, and that is on the verge of becoming one. They teach us that each person has a story to tell. And each story is just as important as the other.

She delivers us the beauty of each story, and the purest form of the art of writing.

Wordless = Wordful

You know(whoever you may be), I always have such a good idea of what to write in my bloggie. But those little epiphanies always happen when I'm not writing at my blog. I just think of them almost randomly. Like, "Oh, hey! This is a nice idea to write about LATER." So I never really got to write about all those nice ideas. When I'm not in front of the computer typing all these things, the ideas just zoom and zap and zip inside my head. But once I'm already here, sitting down at this red computer seat, typing away on the keyboard, all the zooming, zapping and zipping just stop. Irritating.

Hmmm...see, I wanted to write about such interesting things. They're so brilliant ideas they make my eyes water just thinking about it. (Right.) But oftentimes, I just forget about them, or I remember but I'm too lazy to write, OR I remember but the idea doesn't seem as brilliantly tear-inducing as before.

I had a pretty neat little idea just recently too. It's that I should post more pictures in my blog, to make it more easy on the eyes(Since I've noticed people tend to shy away from epic, word-filled entries.) and to make it more interesting. HAH. But the ginomorousy problemy is that I don't even take pictures as much as other picture/word-posting bloggers out there. And I find it too hassling, time-consuming and tedious. Or maybe, I'm just lazy. See, our computer is kind of a hybrid of one from the middle ages and one from today's age. It's ok, but it's damn slooooow in uploading and loading things. Our internet connection really sucks. Anyhow, another factor to be taken into consideration is that i don't really carry my cam everywhere and that I don't only write about VISIBLE, camera-captur-able things. I write about abstract ideas and the like.

Hahaha, for someone who didn't really even know what to write about, this entry is turning out to be long, eh? And I don't even think I'm half done.

I've said it before(I think.)and I'll say it again, it's so hard to write about what you feel/think/whatever because your mind doesn't stop thinking so ideas just keep on coalescing, changing, and transforming. It's difficult to even try to begin.

But, let's see. Hmmm...

Today, I will really write about...UGH. Whatever, I wanted to write such fantabulistic ideas but I'm finding myself too lazy to write about them now(again.) Hahaha...So i'll just REALLY write about what I feel/think right now. Excuse them if they're so random, they make your head jump and do some crazy, wiggly dance inside your cranium.

First of all, this guy is soooo good-looking...yummm. HAHAHHA...don't worry, even I'm disgusted at myself.

Next, I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY TO THE INFINITY want to watch Avatar: The legend of Aang. UGH. It's killing me, mahn.

AND, I also want to watch tearfully huge quantities of chick-flicks. And I want to watch Eli Stone. Mahn, where are the good TV shows when I actually have the time to watch them?

Life sure knows how to stink well.

What else do I want to do? I want to learn some self-defense martial arts. Useful for potential rapists/robbers/murderers. I want to go to an art school, dance school, and learn conversational Chinese. I want to read Nolimetangere and El Filibusterismo, but the Filipino is so deep to the deepest trench in wherever(Marianas Trench? I forgot where and what's the name of the deepest trench is. Grade school has been sooo long ago. Yea, right.) my brain only registers only about a fourth of each paragraph.

ARUGHHHHHH....

Well, those are the current innards of my cerebellum. Hope they entertained. LOL.

Love, Kristina :P

PS. AND I REALLY want to go to SOMEPLACE for a good summer VACATION. Dude, I don't think my family even has anything planned. It sucks. Yes, it does. (And you know what? Of course you don't. But anyhow, all the time I'm complaining and saying "This sucks, this is so damn middle-aged, etc.etc.etc." my mind s going spiritual and telling me that "Thou shalt not complain; self-pity is not a good habit.". Well, you can't deny it, can you? EVERYONE does have weird brain waves ALL THE TIME. Or at lest, I think so.)

Goodbye now, really, for real.
:D