Epiphany Number Three hundred eighty three million, six hundred fifty four thousand, eight hundr--oh, what the heck.

Just had another epiphany! :) Just was thinking again about my future after a little crazy dance mania with myself and mah iPod in an AIR CONDITIONED ROOM, YEA! :D --and well, I thought that in the future I could be a CLE teacher for a little while and at the same time still be a dancer/choreographer AND I WILL EDIT THE CLE BOOKS WE HAVE NOW, with Ms.Ng and Ms.Lo, maybe even with BO SANCHEZ--AND WE WILL MAKE IT THE MOST CONCISE, MOST FUN, AND MOST INSPIRATIONAL CLE BOOK EVAAAAAAAAAAAAH. :D BUWAHAHAHAHA! THAT would be so cool.

Watch think? Cool right? I'd still be able to be a missionary then because I will be teaching HS students and hopefully bring more of them closer to God. :) I still want to go to Africa and Afghanistan. I need to go there. I feeeeel it. :)

I have so many dreams and day by day I am becoming more and more sure of what I will study for college.

BRING IT ON, MOTHA FATE! :D

Just thought I'd share a picture of my new crush as of March 14, 2010. :) HE'S GOT THE HOTTEST TRICEPS, ARMS AND I'M BETTING ABS TOO. LAWRENCE DE VERA.

On the Brink

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Summer, I can taste you. :P

I love it! Thank the Lord, ALLELUIA! I got exempted in Filipino! *celebratory victory dance!!* YES! And Math-and HOPEFULLY, AP too. :)

I'm soooooooooo excited for summer. I've really put up real goals this time and I believe that I can reach 'em. So much is expected of me this coming school year, sometimes it's daunting, sometimes it's flattering, but really, I'm just hoping that God will carry me through it all. Hopefully, I can even brush up even more on my work ethics so I can really DOOOOOOOO EVERYTHING I want--and everything I am expected to do.

So the new developments include ME MAKING NEW FRIENDS--YEY! And this guy's totally sweet. :) He's my best friend's prom date. :)-- I can't stop the smileys. AHHHHHHHHH. Anyway, I'm also glad because school's ending. I bloody need the respite. I need ta rest. I'm bone tired. ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, we're gonna go KTV-ing this Wednesday, after the last PT--or exam. YESSSSSSSSSH. I'm so excited. And we're gonna watch Remember Me. :)

I'm really looking forward to the future. I have awesome friends, an awesome family and THE GREATEST GOOOOOOOOOOD helping me through everything.

Thank you so much Jesse. :) JC, I LOVE YOU. :D

BUMMED

Yesterday was our prom night. Yes, it was fun. But I was picked up too early and thinking my friends have gone already, willingly went with my mom to go back home. I was not able to take photos with my friends. I was not able to dance as wildly as I want on the dance floor. I feel like poo. I missed out on a lot. :(

I can blame so many people for the missed opportunity. My mom for picking me up too erly. My date for not encouraging me to stay. My friends for "apparently" disappearing and not looking for me outside the ballroom. But in the end, it is only my own fault. My friends didn't know I was outside. My date didn't know I still wanted to stay. And my parents also didn't know I still wanted to party.

I hate feeling like this.

I shouldn't.

Was looking for things to cheer me up and these are some quotes I found that I feel ought to be remembered.

"The way to succeed is to double your error rate."
-- Thomas J. Watson

"Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again.
Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the
shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart."
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live,
remember that."
-- J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone

"The great and glorious masterpiece of man is to know how to
live to purpose."
-- Michel de Montaigne

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must
write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What
one can be, one must be."
-- Abraham Maslow

"Once children learn how to learn, nothing is going to narrow
their mind."
-- Marva Collins

"Eating words has never given me indigestion."
-- Winston Churchill

COLLEGE

AHHHHHHHHHHCK.

Thinking about the future can really put me in a heart attack. O.O

College is still a year and how many months away, but I'm really starting to become more serious about it. Partly, because of school and partly, just because of my own anxiety complex. I'm excited about it too, but there's a lot of trepidation mixed in along with that.

I'm contemplating Pscychology, Philosophy, or Theology. To make things even more like chopseuy(is this how you spell it? :D), I'm thinking about taking taking up Sociology too. But my saving grace is they're all kind of interrelated so at least I can focus on one. But I still don't know what to focus on.

I need to have a lunch date with my cousin. HAHA. She'll really help sort out my thoughts, I'm sure.

School's still hectic. I still kinda hate/love it. AHHHHHHHHG. I just can't help but wonder, is all of this torture really necessary? I mean, why can't we just learn for the fun of it? Without the crammed schedules, full of projects, quizzes and stupid stuff like that. Maybe if they(the system?) made project and quiz schedules less hectic, then school could be more fun.

Genius is simplifying the complicated, people. :D

AHAHAHAHAH. I'm so mad about my Filipino exemptions. Just lost it in the FREAKIN FOURTH QUARTER. And I'm mad at this someone who had the nerve to laugh about it to my face...I can't believe someone I USED to highly respect would stoop as low as that.

Well, to leave this on a positive note, prom's next week, Saturday! And I'm excited now because of the dress! It's BEAUTIFUl. :D And, I'm gonna be leaving for our class pre-prom today at 1:30 soon.

My Epitaph—Should I Ask To Be Buried

Life is naught but the breath of Time
Blown upon the human shell.
The Lord did lend life not for crime,
But to complete a purpose to each He’ll tell.

While Time’s breath passes but once
The mortal cell, the soul is ever free.
While the corpse to elements is a slave,
The spirit transcends eternity.

Upon this rock He built His Church.1
Below this rock rots Kristina’s shell,
A decaying cell that will ne’er again lurch,
But feeds the ground to spread Time’s breath.

Filled with the breath of Time, she danced.
She danced for the Glory of God.
She danced for love of the pulse of life.
She danced. It was her simple joy.

Since Death has knocked Time’s wind out,
She owns only the self she has become through breathing,
And on her way upon the celestial route,
She left only mind imprints to the living.

Yet to them she’d whisper not to grieve,
For Time’s breath swiftly will pass them too.
Life is but a temporary gift to receive,
And Time, only an illusion.

Death is just a single lock in Time’s great mane,
A part of the whole but remains just a part.
Momentous but just a momentary state,
For in dying is the birth—to eternal life.2

---

---

(Lines with superscripts are paraphrases/altered quotations from the Gospel of Matthew and the Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi.)
1(Mt 16:18) “And I say to you: That you are Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”
2(Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi) “…And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.”


That's just a poem I made for English class that I really wanted to share. :) And at least now, it's forever immortalized, though probably overlooked, in one of the many recesses of the cyber world.

Trust is fragile.

Handle it with care.

It's really true. Once you give somebody your full trust, it becomes like a beautiful ice carving, or like a glass rose. So precious, but so easily broken. Once someone you gave that much trust just drops hold of it so carelessly...

there's no going back.

Unless, I guess, you have tons of mighty bond and some faerie dust up your sleeve. :)

Avatar-incited mind-wanderings

I'll start with the superficial stuff. I love AVATAR because of its wonderful special effects. I mean, just the colors sent me into an artistic ecstasy! O MEHN! The forest, their world, Pandora---it was just magnificent! The natives and their tattooed blue skin, the creatures, the plants, flowers and trees--everything was just full of life and color. AHHHHHHHH. A feast for the eyes. That's probably what made it a candidate for nomination for best picture too.

If it were a book, I'd say it was a very well-written and well-plotted one. It was just superb--enough for me to compare it with a book! It's story, characters and the world it dared to create had the depth of those that can be found in books.

And for its message...Avatar's message was what I wanted to reveal to the whole world through a book I would have loved to have written too. (I had planned to write a story with a similar message but a different plot to open the eyes of my "readers".)

Our world is dying. And why? Because of us. Because of our selfishness: greed, lust and gluttony. We just love to hoard and take and take and take---even those that were never ours to begin with. In Avatar, the natives were practiced a religion similar to paganism and Buddhism/Hinduism--even our very own, Catholicism. They believed in the beauty of all life. They respected it--which we still fail to do even now.

Their forest was one full of life and creatures. It was a vibrant, thriving, vast living thing. Notice the singular verb? Yes, they believed that everything was joined together too--much like

(I know it's a game card...or whatever you call it. But it was the only picture I can find with the swamp! :) )
the swamp in Avatar: The Last Airbender. Their message was about the interconnectedness of everything. We are all one. (Just like in the book,

The 5 people you meet in heaven by Mitch Albom) This is a philosophy I truly believe in too. I believe that selflessness is the humility of and joy in finally realizing that we are all just one. I breathe and live for you. I am the tree, the flower, the ant, the sun, I AM THE DAY. I am you and you are me. "Love others as you love yourself."

And it kills me how we still continue on living as if this lesson isn't true. Is not the message of God and other religions enough---AND NOW EVEN SCIENCE--to stop people from destroying our very own home, planet Earth? Why do we waste so much on things we don;t need and buy happiness with material things when the only true happiness, peace and joy comes from nothing but unity with all that is OURS AND NOT OURS, with GOD and mother Earth.

True happiness is selflessness. True joy is finally realizing I am one with the soil I step on now.

Sometimes I just feel so hopeless because I look at the city we live in and think about the amount of trees killed just to erect these cold, hard buildings. I wonder how many lives were lost because of me. I consume so much too. These clothes I'm wearing were from trees, albeit in a very altered and impure form. This computer I'm using is using up energy through electricity produced by fossil fuels which might never be replaced again. PEOPLE, HUMANITY use up too much things that are not even vital for our survival. We don't need He-knows-how-many brands of candy and chocolate and clothes and whatever to survive.

Why have capitalism and consumerism taken root over everything? Why is it now a part of every human culture--though, admittedly, some still aren't subject to its evil...

This is sometimes just too much to bear. It is overwhelming. I feel as though through the mere occupation of living I am destroying the world which allowed me to live in the first place. Why must this be so?

This is something I would very much like to ask Bo Sanchez as well. What is his stand in regards to the environment (and our Filipino government)?


I just love Aang and Avatar (the Nickelodeon series) :D